


Disappear

by sublimalmukefuck



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Death, M/M, Sadness, guess who dies, sorry bout the death and all, trigger content, very very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:12:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublimalmukefuck/pseuds/sublimalmukefuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Disappear by Issues</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Michael and Luke were never the perfect couple. They fought, not often but when they did, it was massive. Things happen and decisions are made. Now all Michael wants to do is disappear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> THIS ONE SHOT HAS EXTREME TRIGGER CONTENT. IF YOU DO SELF HARM PLEASE SO NOT READ OR IF YOU WILL PLEASE DONT DO ANYTHING.
> 
> If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I understand what it feels like to have depression and anxiety, also suicidal thoughts, because I have those to so, ta;l to me when you feel down. ill try my best to make you happy.
> 
> Twitter: @sublimalmikey

 

 

Michael and Luke have been best friends since high school. They were the couple almost everyone thought would stay together till death. Of course, they weren't perfect. They have had small arguments, and arguments that led to amazing love making afterwards, and arguments that left one of them in tears. Today was one of those days. 5 Seconds of Summer was recording for their debut album. None of them had time to have a good sleep, writing, recording, and fixing up the songs. They wanted this to be perfect for their fans, since they have waited so long. Luke was unintentionally bugging Michael, asking him what he wanted for dinner. He poked Michaels sides, asking he same thing again and again.

 

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked for the 23rd time. Michael cut him off before it became 24.

 

"Jesus fucking Christ Luke! Can't you see that I'm trying to write a god damn song here?!" Michael shouted, making Luke shrink and others look their way.

 

"You dont have to shout.." He mumbled.

 

"Then you should stop treating me like a god damn child!" He threw a flower vase at the wall. "I don't need you to make my fucking dinner! I dont need you to do the laundry, or the damn dishes! I dont need you to wake me up every goddamn morning! I  _DONT_ NEED _YOU_!" Michael finishes, throwing a lamp at Luke. He dodges before it could hit him. He sniffled, wiping at his eyes.

 

"Fine." Luke stormed out, taking my jacket and the keys to our car. Slamming the door on the way out. He rubbed his temples, making a mental note to apologize to Luke later. He sat back down, grunting loudly.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you Michael?" Calum snapped at me. He shrugged.

 

"Guys, you can go home and sleep for a while." Michael took Luke's jacket and left. Then  remembered. _Shit._  His wallet is in the jacket. So he figured he had to walk.

 

Michael walked almost 3 miles when he saw a crowd of people, camera's and trucks surrounding something. Being the nosey bitch he is, he went and checked it out.

 

" _-got hit by a drunk driver. Witness, John Rendy, says that the driver was driving above speed limit and swerving lanes. He testifies that the driver tried to run the red light, but crashed into the silver Porsche." **Just like our**_ **car..** Michael thought.

 

" _Another witness says that the young male was checking his phone when he got hit. We are getting news that the boy has now been identified as Luke Hemmings. 18 year old lead guitarist of 5 Seconds of Summer."_

 

Michael felt his heart plummet to his feet. Body stiff and cold as he walked over and saw the blonde boy getting taken out of the car. Everything was fast. There was a scream, then next thing he knew he was cradling his lover in his arms. 

 

"Lukey please! Please wake up!" His voice was trembling as he wiped off some blood from the pale boys forehead. "Please Luke Don't leave me!" He cried harder.  _Why? Out of all the people in the world?_

 

"Mikey.." a faint voice said.

 

"Luke! Luke baby! Im so sorry! I love you so so much." 

 

"I- I.. " he said, lips quivering.

 

"Luke! No!"

 

"I love-"

 

"Please Luke! Please!"

 

"I love you" It was barely a whisper but the words hit him harder than a wrecking ball. A last breath left his lips, and the color from his beautiful blue eyes turned grey. Chest sunken and mouth agape. Michael was shouting as he tried to shake his lover awake.

 

"WHY?! WHY GOD!?" The tears were never ending as he held the cold body of his (supposed to be) lifelong partner close to his chest. "Please Luke.. Lukey I love you.. Im so sorry."

 

"Sir. You have to let go of him. We have to perform autopsy and write his death certificate.." Michael felt the blood boiling in his veins.

 

"NO! HES NOT DEAD! NO!" He held him closer, throwing a piece of scrap metal at the asshole.

 

"Sedate him." he heard a voice behind him say.

 

"NO!" he started thrashing around, none of the nurses able to reach him. He felt a poke in his back, his vision starting to fade. "No.. please dont." He said before falling on the gravel, into a deep sleep.

 

_\--------------------_

_"Peek-a-boo!" 13 year old  Michael said, as he looked under the table. He could hear a giggle coming from the closet. He stepped closer to the closet making sure to not make any noise. He quickly opened the doors, yelling, 'foound yoou!' as Luke jumped in surprise._

_"Mikey! Why are you so good in this game?" Luke pouted._

_"Cause you suck at it."_

_"I know what I am great at though.."  Luke said smirking._

_"What?"  Michael said giggling._

_"This.."  Luke dug his fingers into Michaels sides, climbing on top of him._

_"L-Luke! St-stop it! Haha!"_

_"Say that I'm the sexiest human being alive!"_

_"Y-your the  sex-sexiest pe-person alive!"  Luke stopped tickling his sides, pinning his hands above his head._

_"Mikey?"_

_"Yeah?_

_"Has anybody told you how pretty you are?" Michael blushed at Lukes words._

_"N-no" He started to feel nervous because Luke was leaning in. Luke's lips were right above his own, whispering as he says:_

_"You're more than perfect." He said before attaching their lips together._

_It was both of their first kiss, and both their only._

_\---------------------------------------_

_"Luke, are you sure about this? I dont want to force you into anything." 15 year old Michael said, slightly panting from the things they were doing earlier._

 

_"As long as you wont leave me in the morning.." He said, pulling Michael back into the kiss. He started undoing the buttons on Luke's suit. It was their junior prom. It was pretty cliche but thats what they are, romantic at heart. He unbuttoned his pants, shimmering them off of Lukes long legs._

 

_He went back to kiss his collarbones, ocassionally sucking and biting at the skin. Whimpers left Lukes mouth, gripping his hair when Mikey palmed him through his boxers._

 

_"I wanna make love to you baby.." Michael said, kissing Lukes lips, never getting tired of the taste._

 

_That night filled the room with moans of love, and pleasure. They were each others first time._

_\--------------------------------------_

Luke laid down, dressed in the suit he wore on the night we first made love. He told his parents that if ever he did, they shouldnt buy a new one, since it was a waste of money. People whom I never met walk up to me, telling me how sorry they are for my loss. They weren't sorry. These people dont know me. They dont know us. The ceremony started and I was able to keep calm. That was until I had to give a speech.

 

"Hi.. Im Michael Clifford, the boyfriend and best friend of Luke." I said nervously glancing at the speech I have written. I quickly stuff them back into my pocket. "When he was in the hospital for autopsy, I stayed in the cafeteria, writing down lyrics for a song. So I'm going to play it for all of you today." I looked at the person holding a guitar in the back, as he made his way to the front to give me his guitar, I said thank you in reply. I sat down looking down at the floor, to depressed to look anywhere else.

 

" _Remember when_   _I didn't need you_

_Well I need you now_

_To hold my head up high_

_Say its all better now child._

_Remember when.."_  I could feel the tears already escaping my eyes as I sang.

 

_"Some days I feel like a saint, I'm so align_  
 _Some days I can't make any moves_  
 _It's like I have no spine_  
 _Can't do anything right_  
 _And when midnight comes I've run out of time to_  
 _Make some kind of difference_  
 _But I realize I constantly overlook the impact I've made_  
 _Maybe I'm longing to change my own face_  
 _To make you proud, I wanna make you proud_  
 _When you're looking down on me"_ I thought about Lukes beautiful smile that could light up any dark place. The way that he'd blow his hair off his forehead. The way he presses his back against me when we cuddle. He was too young to be taken. Soul so pure and heart so light. 

 

_"My mind's wide open like starry skies_  
 _I ask God questions and wonder why_  
 _The hell that you're not here_  
 _I wanna disappear with you now"_ I did want to disappear. I wanted to turn back time to our fight. Why him?

 

_"Remember when I didn't need you_   
_Well I need you now_   
_To hold my head up high say it's all better child_   
_Remember when I was alone and crying out_   
_You will be missed_   
_But I know that you're all better now"_

 

I looked up and saw how much the song effected them. I dont remember what happened after, I shut myself out looking at the casket which held my dead lovers body. When it was time to lower the casket, I broke down. I was crying and shouting, sobbing like there was no tomorrow. Ashton and Calum stayed by my side the whole time, rubbing my back and telling me that I was gonna be okay. But I wasn't. I dont know how I'm gonna be okay without Luke.

 

Luke was the blue to my sky. The stars in my night. The heart that made the blood run through my veins. He was what made me live through my years. And now life just feels so grey and dull. I won't move on. I could try, but Luke is something too big to be forgotten. I stayed home that night wondering where Luke is, but it was obvious he was in heaven. 

 

I thought about what I told him before he died. "I DONT NEED YOU". It was a lie. I needed Luke. Luke gave me a reason to live. I needed him to be there for me in my dark days. I needed him to hold my head up high and tell me it was all better. I needed him to hold me whenever the fans would send me hate. I needed him to stop me from hurting myself. I  _need_ Luke. 

 

That night the bathroom was covered in blood. There was no part of my body unmarked with hideous scars and burns. I poured vodka onto my skin, making the pain 10 times worse. I needed an escape from reality now that there was no Luke. I cried out in pain, partly from the pain on my skin but mostly from the pain in my heart.

 

* _4 years later*_

 

" _Former guitarist of the band, 5 Seconds of Summer, Michael Clifford, died yesterday night from suicide. Doctors say he swallowed at least 96 pills. He left a note to his parents. On the letter states, " **You finally gotten what you always asked for. Congratulations.** ". Mr. Clifford's parents have been arrested for child abuse, child labor, and rape. Former bandmates, Calum and Ashton Irwin were devastated upon hearing the news of Michaels death. They received a letter from Mr. Clifford 2 hours before his death. Calum Irwin states, " **We knew after Luke's death, it would time for him to heal. But I never really thought that he would kill himself. He always seemed to be okay when he was with us. I should of helped him.** " We have not yet gotten word about the date of Michael funeral, but we do know that he will be buried next to his ex-lover, Luke Hemmings, who was said to be the reason behind his death."_

 

_*at the funeral*_

 

Calum and Ashton sat beside Alex and jack, who both shared the grief of the guitarists death. Calum being the bestfriend of Michael had to be the one who gave the speech. He was wiping the tears that he had left. 

 

"Uhm hello.. I didnt have a speech prepared because I was to busy crying my damn eyes out so instead I'll read to you the letter he gave to us."

 

“ _Dear Calum and Ashton,_

_I’m sorry. This is the last time you will be hearing (reading) from me. I was in too much pain and I wanted nothing more than to make it stop. I have not told you about what really happened to me since Luke has died. I have been doing things that weren’t really good for me and I’m sorry that you had to learn it this way. I couldn’t tell you face to face, in fear that you would stop me. All I want to do is to be with Luke. Please don’t tell me I’m stupid for doing this or that I should think about this, but I have. Luke is my life and when he died, I went with him. During these past 4 years, I haven’t been living. I was just not dying. Please do not be sad about this.”_

_“_ You stupid asshole, how can I not be s-sad.. My best f-fucking friend just d-died.” He butted in but continued afterwards. “

_“Please stay strong for Lucas Gordon. (by the way its still a sucky name. im glad you named it after us but seriously.) Ashton.”_ He looked at his husband who was sitting next to his baby boy.

“ _Please take care of Calum. I know you guys love each other so dearly. So please do not let this affect him so badly. I want you and him to have dozens of kids and I want one named Michael Robert, preferably the one after Lucas Gordon.”_  Calum chuckled.

“ _Also make them listen to Green Day as much as possible. Teach them how to drum and shit. I love you (in a brotherly way. Calum would kill me if it was something more than that.”_ This time it was  Ashton who chuckled.

“ _Calum. Im sorry im leaving you behind. You are my best friend and my brother and I’m so thankful that I had you in my life. I love you more than word can explain. (Not as much as Luke though.) Please don’t be a mad. I don’t like it when you get mad. Remember when we were kids, we had sleepovers and I told you we would be bestfriends till we were 200 years old? Im sorry that had to be cut down to 22 years. But really who could live that long. I hope we can see each other (but preferably 80 years from now okay?) Sorry.. I love you guys_

_-Michael.”_

Calum broke down, crying into the pedestal. Ashton came over to comfort him, rubbing his back as he cried.

 

“Michael, you dick, I hope you and Luke can see this because if you can, I love you guys  so fucking much.” Calum cried more. The wind blew and Calum could feel the hair on his skin rise. A paper hit Ashton in the face. He took it off, eyes widening showing it to Calum.

 

“ ** _We love you too.._**

****

-          **_L and M”_**


End file.
